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Charl @Charlmot

Age 19, Male

Missouri Bootheel

Joined on 4/9/23

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Journal's Calling (Writers Jam 1 Entry)

Posted by Charlmot - September 2nd, 2023


This is my entry for the Writers Jam!

The entire story is here and is meant to be read in this post. I hope you enjoy it!


The theme I chose was: Safety


____________________________________


Journal's Calling


A journal lay on the sand as the waters creep close and the birds call out in dissonant harmony. You spot it as your day at the beach is coming to an end. The journal calls to you in a way you've never felt before, you feel you have no choice but to see what's inside. 


With a great hesitation you pick it up and open it. There's writing, it looks like it was written fast.


_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

--------------------------


In the fray of fear that rings,

Yearning to life, while death's sting,

The future unclear but the sun brings forever rays,

A wish to delay fate another day.


I am a wanderer in this world,

All perils I hold in sheer,

With a desire to seek in deep thought,

The fire in life's eyes to peak


Navigating troubled waters,

Against such danger that slaughters,

The only craving I require,

To live strong and free from death


Warding off all harm's hold,

Equipping safety, stories be told,

An armor of valor at the start,

Hasty in part due to many rumors remained foretold


With courage, a helmet, a shield,

Determination to survive leaves memories surreal,

Enemies fight back with vigor and rage,

A life of appeal, center stage, and curtains revealed


A man of wisdom and intelligence 

He sits just outside the stage watching

He adjusts his tie and prepares to speak

And he says:


"Be watchful of many that do come,

Protect your life with all your might,

In time you'll see the birds hum in peace.

Tread carefully, there is no risk worth taking to cause fatality."


"Surround yourself in a haven of safety,

Sheltered within your loved ones' safety.

With an abundance of good health,

And refuse to let danger's shadow invade."


So, I stand ready to protect my life,

To do all that it takes to avoid strife.

And while I cannot ensure immortality,

I can live with the wisdom of reality.


Fear's shadow never shall loiter,

But no matter what, fate will destroy.

And in the end, what truly matters

Is living life with hope in every detail


I-


--------------------------

--------------------------

--------------------------

--------------------------

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐


The writing was cut short, and the rest of the page sits unfinished. With no other person in sight, you're left in awe and curiosity. Maybe you were meant to find this...


A story of a wanderer confined to the chains of danger while concerned about safety. A story of someone who would rather stay safe, but is forced to take risks.


Unsure of why, you relate to this writing. You feel like it sums up the way you live life. You feel like this writing saved you. 


Your perspective has changed and you look up from the journal with a new found purpose in life. But first, before you leave, there is one last thing you must do; You put the journal back down in the sand for future souls to discover.


As you walk away from the shore, you can't help but feel grateful for the words that have touched your soul. You now know that there is strength in being cautious, and that it's possible to live a full life without taking unnecessary risks. 


You make a promise to yourself to live each day with intention, to protect yourself while still seeking adventure, and to never forget the words that have resonated with you so deeply. 


As you reach the end of the beach, you turn back to take one last look at the journal, knowing that it has changed your life forever. And with a smile on your face, you head towards the horizon, ready to embark on the next chapter of your life, with newfound wisdom and gratitude.


Tags:

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Comments

Judge Comment: A short story that partially utilizes a second-person perspective is a rare breed to find. I think this story is quite interesting in its style and above all paints a nice picture. Part of that is due to the framing as when I am told that I have just read something life changing I give it greater thought. With this piece in particular though I felt as though the actual poem part proved a bit messy for me. The inconsistent rhyme scheme with the consistent quatrains pulled me out of the content probably a bit more than was intentional. And the actual meter of the poem left me wanting. I think it could have been powerful to intentionally cause this effect as the poem was ending to emulate the fact that the remaining content is missing, but with it being present throughout it gave me some trouble. However, the content is grand and the actual story is relayed well so you shouldn’t feel too bad! It was unique in form and concept so well done there! Thanks for the piece!

Thank you for the feedback!!!! It's so so appreciated!!
And I'll be keeping this in mind for the next time I make a poem for sure, people really don't give me feedback on those
Thank you :)

I agree with Artyrian's thoughts as far as the poem's rhythm and rhyming pattern goes. I also agree, though, that the second-person perspective was a really cool choice! As for the story itself, I liked how it touched upon a truly realistic perspective on safety. All the time, in stories, songs, etc., you'll hear artists talk about how bold and romantic it is to go on adventures with reckless abandon and live in the moment without any fear of consequences, but really, how many of us do that? How many of us even *need* to do that? I felt like the line "Tread carefully, there is no risk worth taking to cause fatality" was an effective summary of the writer's whole perspective. No point in going on adventures so risky, there's a chance you won't get to go on any more adventures after that, eh?